I Can't Hate You Anymore
by misstaraQ
Summary: Nathan and Haley oneshot. Song fic for I Can't Hate You Anymore by Nick Lachey.


**Title:** I Can't Hate You Anymore

**Summary:** Nathan and Haley, oneshot, song fic for I Can't Hate You Anymore by Nick Lachey. Let's say that Nathan never forgave her for leaving him until now, right before they're about to leave for college.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.

He laid there on his bed in his half-empty room all by himself, thinking hard and listening to the rain fall freely from the sky and onto his windows. Tomorrow was the day he was leaving for college. Nathan Scott was going to be a full-time student and basketball player at Duke University. This was his dream. There was almost nothing else in the world he wanted more. Except for a particular brown-eyed girl.

_An empty room can be so deafening, _

_The silence makes you wanna scream, _

_It drives you crazy. _

Haley James-Scott. His wife. They had gotten married when they were sixteen. They shared a love like nobody else could even possibly imagine. Just when they thought nothing could possibly go wrong, their dreams got in their way. As much as Nathan loved basketball, Haley loved music. So unexpectedly, two years ago, she left him to go on tour with Chris Keller and the Wreckers. Before she left, he gave her an ultimatum: him or the music. She chose the music.

It killed him; shattered his heart into a million little pieces. He was angry at her, and angry at himself for letting her leave on such a bad note. He took off his wedding ring, erased her messages on the answering machine and burnt their wedding wall, which contained pictures of Nathan and Haley at the party that was thrown for them.

_I chased away the shadows of your name, _

_And burned the picture in a frame, _

_But it couldn't save me. _

He visited her, tried to work it out, once or twice in the beginning. But after unsuccessful attempts, he gave up, leaving it up to her to try and fix the problem she created.

_And how could we quit something we never even tried, _

_Well you still can't tell me why. _

For two years he convinced everyone he was over her. He pretended like the marriage never even existed, even though they never came to sign papers for an annulment or a divorce. And when she came back to him a year and a half ago, pleading for him to work it out and take her back, he told her he couldn't do it. He told her he wasn't even sure if he still loved her anymore. It broke her heart, but she knew she was the one who walked away, so there was nothing she could do to try and fix it. She still loved him to this day. And he knew it. He knew it damn well. But he still pretended like he could never forgive her.

_We built it up, _

_To watch it fall. _

_Like we meant nothing at all. _

_I gave and gave the best of me, _

_But couldn't give you what you need. _

_You walked away, _

_You stole my life, _

_Just to find what your looking for. _

_But no matter how I try, _

_I can't hate you anymore. _

_I can't hate you anymore. _

But the truth was that he had forgiven her a long time ago. He just couldn't bring himself to take her back. Not after how badly she had hurt him. He still loved her as much as they day they got married, but he would never admit to it.

_Your not the person who you used to be, _

_The one I want who wanted me, _

_And that's a shame but, _

_There's only so many tears that you can cry. _

Until now. Until the day before he was leaving to go to a place where no one knew anything about him; about how he was married; about how he spent the last two years miserable without anyone knowing. Sitting up in his bed, he finally realized what a terrible mistake he had made.

_Before it drains the light right from your eyes, _

_And I can't go on that way. _

_And so I'm letting go of everything we were, _

_It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. _

He couldn't leave without saying goodbye. Actually, goodbye wasn't even the word. He couldn't leave without finally forgiving her, face to face. He couldn't leave knowing he left behind the one person in the world he loved the most; the one person who had broken, but still owned, his heart. He got up and rushed down the stairs into the pouring rain, running as fast as he could towards her house, forgetting completely that his car was sitting in the driveway.

_We built it up, _

_To watch it fall. _

_Like we meant nothing at all. _

_I gave and gave the best of me, _

_But couldn't give you what you need. _

_You walked away, _

_You stole my life, _

_Just to find what your looking for. _

_But no matter how I try, _

_I can't hate you anymore. _

He kept telling himself to go faster, as if she could vanish at any second. He got to her house and ran up the stairs and on to the porch, water covering every inch of his body. He pounded on the door, praying that she would be the one who answered. Her heard someone coming to the door and within seconds the knob turned. For the first time in forever, she was standing right in front of him, beautiful as ever, wearing a red shirt and jeans, with her hair in a low ponytail

"Nathan." She said, shock apparent on her face. "What are you doing here?"

He hesitated, suddenly afraid that this time she was going to be the one rejecting him. Fighting to get the out the right words, he looked deep into her eyes and poured his heart out.

"I came to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I ignored you and that I was a complete jackass to you these past two years. And I'm sorry that I never let you back in. Sorry that I never told you that what you did doesn't matter anymore.You're still my wife, Haley. And I still love you. I love you more than anything, and I'm done pretending that this is over. Because it's not. Inside, I forgave you a long time ago for everything. And I know you might not accept my apologies for all of my ridiculous behaviors, but I think deep down we both know that we were young and didn't put much thought into anything. And I also think that deep down you still love me, because I sure as hell can feel it. And I probably don't deserve for you to take me back, but if you'll have me... I'm right here."

_Sometimes you hold so tight, _

_It slips right through your hands. _

_Will I ever understand? _

At this point, she had tears in her eyes, but strongly held them back. She didn't know what to do. Her heart said to go for it. That this was the only man she ever did and ever would truly love. But her mind told her to back off. She stayed silent, just looking into his eyes. Silently panicking that this wasn't going to be a happy ending, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Finally, she spoke.

"I don't know what to say..." She croaked through her tears, which she now allowed to fall simultaneously down her cheeks. She knew that this is what she had been waiting for for so long. All she could think about was being back in his arms, the only place she had ever felt at home.

"Say that you'll give me a chance." He begged, trying to think of something to say fast. "I'll do anything."

That was enough for her. She didn't care about where her head told her to go. Right now, it was all about her heart.

"I...I love you." She cried.

He widened his eyes while his heart soared at the words that had just come out of her mouth. The corners of his mouth began turning up, and he smiled and immediately wrapped his arms around her and twirled her around in the rain while giving her the most passionate kiss she had ever received. Even though they both knew that it was going to take some time, for this moment, they were two souls madly in love, with not a care in the world of what might happen tomorrow. This was it: what their desperate hearts had been desiring for ages, and they finally got it.

_We built it up, _

_To watch it fall. _

_Like we meant nothing at all. _

_I gave and gave the best of me, _

_But couldn't give you what you need. _

_You walked away, _

_You stole my life, _

_Just to find what your looking for. _

_But no matter how I try, _

_I can't hate you anymore._

* * *

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